If a friend made a mistake at work, what would you tell them? Probably something like "It happens, you will fix it". And when you make the same mistake yourself? "I am useless. I always ruin things."
Most of us speak to ourselves in a way we would never accept from anyone else.
Where that voice comes from
Often it is made of voices we heard when we were young, from parents, teachers or classmates, and kept as if they were our own. Maybe they once protected us. Now they just weigh us down.
A small exercise
- When you hear the harsh voice, stop and write down exactly what it says.
- Ask: would I say this to someone I love?
- Rewrite the sentence the way you would say it to that person.
- Read it out loud, even if it feels a little silly.
Kindness to yourself is not laziness. It is what gives you the strength to try again.
It does not happen in a day
This voice does not change with a single decision. It changes through repetition, like any habit. Every time you choose a warmer sentence, it gets a little easier the next time.