Some people tell you "it has been a year, you need to move on". Others wonder why you are laughing a week later. And you ask yourself whether you are grieving the right way.
Let me tell you what I believe: there is no right way.
Grief comes in waves
Some days are calm and you almost forget. On others, a song in the supermarket or a smell takes you back in a second. That does not mean you are going backwards. It means you loved.
And it is not only death. We also grieve a relationship that ended, a job that was lost, a home we left behind, a version of ourselves.
A few things that may help
- Let the feelings come without putting them in order.
- Keep a small routine: food, sleep, a little walking. The body needs care when the heart hurts.
- Talk about what you lost. Tell stories, say the name.
- Be patient with yourself when you forget things or tire easily.
We do not "get over" what we lost. We slowly learn to carry it more lightly.
You do not have to be alone
If the pain keeps you from functioning for a long time, or if you feel you cannot bear it, ask for help. In Greece, 10306 is there, and a psychologist can walk beside you on this road.